what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
