It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
