I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
