Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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