hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
