shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
