my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
