I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
