for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
