Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize