True but thats because hes a fetus.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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