she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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