So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
