toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
