so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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