wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
