He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
