actually, I'm a sock model
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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