Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
