he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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