If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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