Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
