you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
