I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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