That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
whose ass print is on the piano?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
