people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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