Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
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