I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
how drunk are you?
Several
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
