Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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