nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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