laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
