Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
