some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She even gives head with a lisp.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I am naked and annoyed.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
