It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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