I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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