she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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