Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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