return my video game
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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