dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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