so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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