oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
