she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
