Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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