Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
