never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
