Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
