I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
