We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
