On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Randomize
