It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
