My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
