Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
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