look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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