Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize