Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
