My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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