farters have to be the big spoon...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
