best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I made him laugh his dick is mine
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
