After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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