I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
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