whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize