Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
