It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
